Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
