I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
