am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
