okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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