You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
