first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
