So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
4 words: hood of his car
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
