I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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