Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
