There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
