after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
