I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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