im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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