anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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