just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
