It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
