STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
