I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
