So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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