I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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