In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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