um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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