actually, I'm a sock model
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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