I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she woke up with a sticky ear
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
