i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This is my gift to your gina
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
