What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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