i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
