I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
