david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
