Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this just has baby written all over it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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