We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
