I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
