Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize