i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
