dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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