I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
