wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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