I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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