hotel room ftw
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
