Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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