she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
