? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
