i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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