in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
