I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
