Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
tonight lets celebrate not being married
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
