i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
