K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
