I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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