I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
