it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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