I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
