i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
