Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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