so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
