I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
