you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
