He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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