I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Michael Bay diarrhea
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
