Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
