My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
