yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
