He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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