I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
