Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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