I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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